See me?

Look at me!

I want you to look at me.

See the subtle shading in the crease of my eye?

No.

Look again?

See the way my hair frames my face.

I spent hours perfecting that!

Just so you will look at me.

But don't look at me wrong!

You right there,

What do you think of me?

You think I am ugly don't you?

I did things all wrong

I can see it in your eyes.

Oh woe is me, I am a failure!

I am never good enough,

I am better, but I am never best

I judge myself on what you see.

On the way you look back at me.

I'm self centered in that way,

All that matters is the way you look at me

And yet in the moments that no eyes are on me,

Then I am free of this curse.

All that matters is all I can create

This is who I really am.

This is what I'm too afraid to show.

All of the strength inside of me

Shining through to make beauty

So tonight I'm praying that I did it right.

I was able to shine, at least for myself.

Cause I faced my fears, and let you see something close to me.

And that is my attempt for a poetry reading next weekend... Hopefully I'll have the guts to read it.