Lilly's Life List

Skills
Learn basic archery
Practice reiki
Practice a form of dance
Places
Visit Sweden, and meet my relatives
Visit New Zeeland
Spend at least a year backpacking through Europe
Entertainment
See War Horse, the broadway play
See a Broadway play on Broadway
See something in London's West End
Achievements
Work on a Broadway play
Work on a Hollywood film
Work for Wetta Workshop
Write a book
Experiences
Beat Cancer!
Have a family
Become a Buddhist Nun

Who I am

When it is all about me, I am selfish. When it is all about you, I am not myself.


I read a beautiful post a few days ago that touches on this. Of course it stayed with me because of it is relevant to my current situation. If you don't want to read the whole post here is a quote that I think sums it up "We end up honouring surface wants over the real life meat of who we are and the work that we do."-Schmutzie It has gotten to the point for me where I don't know what I truly want anymore. I have become so afraid of being who I am that it is a struggle of epic proportions to find what my heart wants.


What I want most is to be great. I grew up reading all these stories about epic adventures, and I wanted nothing more than to be the hero in one of those adventures. I wanted to save the world and all that jazz. I played all sorts of adventures with my dearest neighborhood friend. We would jump off tables trying to fly. We would play lord of the rings out in the backyard. And if one of us was acting too grown up we'd chastise each other for losing our imagination.


Somewhere along the way we drifted apart and I hid my imagination deep down inside of me. Too afraid to show it because it wasn't "proper". People don't want to be around the girl who takes jokes too far or says things that others don't understand. So now I have to learn to be a child again. Because my soul is aching to release the ideas that I've hidden away. 


So now I'm doing what my heart tells me and working on saving my school department, because this is my life and I deserve to try and help make things right.

Ideal Lilly

Who is the ideal Lilly?

The ideal Lilly is kind of a bad ass. Don't mean to brag, but she gets stuff done.

She's smart. She isn't afraid of putting people off with it.

She's strong. She knows how to use her body and can preform all kinds of feats with it.

She's creative. She has all these ideas and knows how to execute them.

She's self disciplined. She knows how to work with herself to make sure that she is the best she can be.

But most important of all, ideal Lilly is brave. She does not let her fear stop her.

So real Lilly is going to start by working on her most tangible fear, her fear of birds.

Different?

Sorry I haven't been able to post lately, finals and roommate drama.

So Sometimes I forget that I'm different. I was reminded last night. I was hanging out with the best friend and his parents. I had my hair pulled back so my ears were showing. I had all of my piercing in. I've had my ears multiply pierced since I was 13. I got my latest hole when I was 16, I am now 20. I forget that I have them. Well best friends parents were rather shocked that I have five holes in my ears. For the rest of the night they kept joking how I had all my booty in my ears. At least it could be worse, cause I have a rather large posterior so they could have been making jokes about that.

I forget that the average is two holes. I forget that I'm edgy. I don't see myself as "different". Specially with my blue and purple tips. I honestly don't see myself that way. I don't see myself as a girl with the dragon tattoo kind of outcast. Maybe it is because I believe your fashion sense and morals have nothing to do with adulthood and responsibility. But the real change I feel that I have made is that I don't feel persecuted. I understand their confusion and their jokes. And it didn't hurt. I learned something about myself. That I am different, and there are lots of people in this world that want to understand those differences, but are confused how to go about it.

I am terrible at keeping up with my blog

I hope to to be posting once a week now. At least. I'm thinking of changing my topics up a bit. I want to start talking about something that I am deeply embarrassed about. I am a messy, terribly messy, heck why not go with diblitatingly messy. The funny thing is I can be organized, in my head. In my head everything is in neat little boxes, and everything has a reason for being there. For those of you thinking of a cubical environment stop right there.

My little mind definitely looks a lot more like this. Ornate, beautiful, a bit old fashioned, yet still practical. Yet my room looks more like the starting of a hoard. You can't see the floor, sometimes there are paths through it, yet in my move back from college, I realized how much stuff I really have. I have too much. Why because I  need to keep everything. I just need to collect to have. Wow what a consumer I am.

Well I'm hoping to have a day by day of one interesting thing at least, that I threw away that day. In other words, I going to give you at least seven different things I threw away this week. And the stories behind them. Possibly pictures.

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry I haven't been posting lately, I've been kind of busy. When I say kind of I mean I should be doing something else rather then posting but I just can't think right now. So I'll tell you people somethings.

I love animals. I absolutely adore animals. I even wanted to take care of them when they got sick as a kid. Some how I ended up going into theatre tech. Che sará sará. Yay I remembered how to put accents on the a. This has not stopped me from wanting to own a small zoo. so here they are.

This is not a wolf! This is a tamaskan dog. They are very sweet and friendly. Plus they look like wolves, who wouldn't want that?

And to complement the wolf dog we have the irish wolf hound. I am a cruel sick person. These are the biggest dog that the AKC will register. I also happen to think they look like the grim from harry potter.

Two large dogs and then this, you've got to be kidding me right? Wrong! Boyfriend is afraid of large dogs so I figure we'd start out small. But most small dogs are yippers right? Wrong! Doxies have a normal bark and are adorable.

Wait a minuet isn't that a bacon machine? NO LIES!!! This is a pig. An awesome adorable piggy. They are smart intelligent and over all totally cool.

What is this? Did my dryer lint grow legs? Nope its a chinchilla. The most awesomely fluffy creature ever. They are so adorable. And fluffy. Did I mention the fluffy?

Who cannot feel the love for this adorable long eared hedgehog? I mean look at it. It says sorry I did a bad. So sweet. Plus they make great pest control. So my garden will be safe!

I wasn't kidding when I said small zoo. Boyfriend is in for a lesson in caretaking, since he has never had a pet. Oh well. At least you got your daily dose of cute right?

Meet Me

This is me, I used to blog everyday in junior high. Those blogs sounded something like this:

Whine. Talk about my day so any stalker can find me. Whine some more. Write sucky poetry. End with some cryptic comment.

I'm really hoping to do better then that. I haven't blogged since is started high school, I ended high school nearly a year ago. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating, don't look at me like that I am not a liar. I just enjoy taking artistic license.

Let me now pretend for a moment to be normal. Ready, set, goooooooo. Well I like knitting. I love theatre, but not acting. I promise more updates on that. I have a boyfriend and he is the love of my life and we're going to get married. I love pigs and I want to have one as a pet. End normal mode.

I'm honestly just looking to make people laugh, like ha ha her life is so weird. I'm glad my life is normal, I'll now proceed to read the rest of her crazy life stories to make myself feel better. I used to try to do this in real life but it went something like this:

Me: "I was just sitting on Boyfriend's bed trying to eat fundip when before I could start eating the fundip I dropped the stick onto a pile of clothes on the floor. I thought hey I can get that so I lean over and before I know it, some how I'm falling off the bed and my precious computer in tow. I start trying some how to magically crawl back up the bed in mid fall because at this point everything is going in slow mo. And some how I still fall, computer first on its side onto the floor. I sit up and grab my computer grab the fundip stick and look up at boyfriend. Boyfriend is so amused he just starts laughing and laughing."

Person I'm telling the story to: "That's great. Do you want to here my funnier story that really is just about how you had sex in New York and got caught by so and so and how hilarious yet it was really disturbing instead. But you'll laugh anyway cause your that nice person that everyone just take advantage of."

For some odd reason I think that you, the people of the internet will find my insane ramblings about strange things that I do humorous. Or even the insane things I don't do but other people around me do.