Cinderella?

I think I talked about cleaning. Mostly how I used to hate it and now I don't. How that is one of the biggest ways I knew that I was getting over my depression. Well today my mom asked me to clean our houses three bathrooms. She had no idea what she had just asked me to do. I've gone a bit nuts. I have scrubbed dust out of their grout. I have polished all wood features. I have washed their mirrors. And for my grand finale I will be placing new tea lights in their tea light holders... This is only one bathroom.

I managed to finish the second. But the third, well I left that for tomorrow.

My Life...

I have a headache. I don't like this. I think I now know how Sheldon AND Leonard of the big bang theory feels. I really should be following in the footsteps of my awesome cousin. But seeing as I'm living with the problem in a tiny dorm room and she doesn't know how to stop saying stupid things.

Its gotten to the point that I have stopped caring if she shuts up. I just want her to stop saying stupid things. "Like I will be up til dead spurt. Like I will be dead and blood will be spurting out." Yes those words came out of her mouth. I understand, I really do. I say stupid shit all the time. And it annoys people. "Omg fuck this natural light how do I make it go away... natural light wouldn't be so rude if it didn't make me so washed out." This from a girl who claims everyone else in the world is stupid as fuck...

Also I'm looking at my winter coat and wondering... hmm I wonder if I can let this out a little... Seeing as some how I am a late bloomer and have gained more curves Or maybe I can let it out a lot and add some warmer lining and then have a super warm coat! Because well I'm crazy like that.

Reverse Racism- A rant

Calling me a wasp is like assuming that because you're black you are all from the same tribe. Yes I am white, no I am not english in anyway shape or form. I am nordic and germanic. I am from sweden, denmark, norway, poland and germany. Yes I am white, yes I look like a typical white girl should look. Yes I am from the north shore, yes I am privileged, but for all of my parents money(which honestly is due to good spending habits more than anything else) we still might get screwed over. The government might take away my parents retirement money, along with many other teachers. So tell me how I am so much better off again?

My grandparents lived through the great depression. My grandfather lived in an orphanage because his parents couldn't take care of him and his siblings. His father was a drunk who ended up dying in a transient hotel probably from some long term effects of drinking... My grandfather and his wife used to have to scrape together breakfast for dinner to feed their kids because they didn't have enough money to buy enough food. So much for northsiders being rich, by the way this was in the 50s and 60s. Hell my great grandmother bullied my grandmother for speaking swedish funny because they were from two different parts of sweden. My grandma was from the less sophisticated north while my great grandma was from the south. My great aunt ended up having a shot gun wedding, and my other great aunt can't tell you who the father of two of her children is. My uncle has had three different wives and refused to come to his mothers funeral, because of his dogs. My other uncle is probably autistic and was born in the 50s, his parents were told that they should give him up and send him to an institution, but they made the brave choice to raise him themselves.

We've got a long history of being screw ups and making mistakes in my family. We aren't the best. But these are my people. I'm not proud of being Caucasian, I'm not proud of what my white family has done to others. But honestly stop assuming things just because I'm white. I am proud of my family, I am proud of my people. Just like you should have pride for yours. I don't pretend know more about your culture or your people than I do. I admit when I'm wrong and I back off. Yes my family has been privileged because we are white, but don't try and act like you know about me or my culture because my skin color fits that of the mass media.

All this because I offered to brush your hair when it was a mess. Guess what sister, I get random curled up knots in my hair too. My hair gets all matted frizzy and a mess when I roll out of bed too. I offered to help, I'm sorry that you found my offer pushy and insensitive. I treat you like I would like to be treated, and honestly if I treated you the way you treat me I would be one hell of a bitch. Yes I like making myself and others look pretty, but not by conforming to the medias idea of beauty. I want to take your image of yourself and help you make it the best possible looking image, sort of like a editor does for a writer. I believe in giving women the tools to make themselves "beautiful" if they don't want to make the effort thats fine. I will not judge them for it, but I strongly strongly believe in giving them the tools to do so if they wish to.

So go ahead and call me a white colonist. Make fun of me for quoting history and saying that all our colonizing attempts kind of failed(See vineland and greenland, iceland I don't know enough about). Miss quote me and make me sound like an idiot for saying that we left vineland because the indians were lactose intolerant and we gave them milk, it made them sick they got angry and chased us off.

In the end, yeah but you're white isn't any better of an excuse than yeah but you're black.

Barfing

I have some sort of nasty bug. With symptoms ranging from nausea always sleepy to headaches.  Its fun. Needless to say I've stayed home from class today. And here it comes, the emotional throw up. Because mood swings are like barfing.

You can feel it coming, you try to stop it. And then there you are puking all over something you ought not to be puking. You tried to stop. You tried to find a way to deal with it appropriately. But nope Your puking.

This is how my current roommate makes me feel. I also feel terrible for blogging about how much she is driving me up the wall but I've got very few people to vent to. The real question is when I want somebody to shut the fuck up and stop judging the entire world! Last monday do you know what she did? She sat and looked at peoples funny looking dicks on craigs list with her boyfriend. For their anniversary.

Now this wouldn't be a problem if I could send them to his room... which just so happens to be thousands of miles away in texas. So I'm stuck. Listening to them judge then entire world and its brother, every night, since august, with rare breaks.

So I try to go hide in the lounge, which also happens to be colder than my room, then it gets invaded by people playing pokemon. They did invite me, but you see I had a very deprived childhood and wasn't allowed to play. At all. So I have no basis for it and feel like a poser trying to play. And now I'm back in my room. Watching bones. Trying to get ready for bed