Rant

I want to run.
But I have to wait for my musical device to charge.
I don't want to. I want to feel the pavement beneath my bare feet.
I haven't done this since last summer. Not since the last time I got angry like this.
I'm trying to be patient, to give my ipod some time to charge.
10 minuets I say, I'll leave in ten minuets.
But In ten minuets my parents might be home, and they'll bar the doors and stop me from going.
Trouble is insured if I leave this late when they are here.
But right now they are not. They are out stalking their dream house.
If only they showed as much emotion about my cancer as they did about future homes.
They kept swearing that they didn't move soon enough, when they only got the info yesterday and the house went on the market tonight.
I could use ETF, but then again the fact that freedom is so close, yet so far is too tempting.
Why do I always have to be the punching bag?
Why do I always have to make threats?
Why am I this way?
Is there any medicine that can help me?

I guess I'm just restless. I can't really go outside.
Not when it's been so hot and I've been so sick.
My parents believe I should be trying harder. They didn't even want me to have a week off. It is hard for me to understand my parents.
I feel better but I still want to run.
I want to, even though I shouldn't.
Even scrubbing makes me feel the weakness in my body.
They told me this was the easy cancer.
I think doctors should be banned from saying that phrase, the easy cancer. The instead should say the most curable cancer. It doesn't put stupid ideas into stupid peoples heads about how this will be for the patient.
I'm rambling.
The only reason I fear rambling is I fear people wont read it and will misunderstand me.
Being misunderstood is a fear of mine.

Should I wear shoes when I go? Only 3 minuets left.
I gave the thing fifteen to charge. I wont even be gone that long, sooner if the charge doesn't hold.
I hope the charge holds. I haven't used this thing in two months.
Too busy packing for LIB and then running.
Brother is freaking out over getting my music on his computer.
Be greatful little one its good music!
Shit. Mom and Dad are home.