Questioning.

I have questions. I have no idea where to find answers. I'm frustrated. I'm overwhelmed. I feel like I'm fighting my way through college. Every step I take gives me new questions that I wish I'd thought of a head of time and over all I am overwhelmed. I am exhausted, my entire world is fuzzy from losing my glasses and it makes me sleepy. I have so much work to do but it is all on my own so help isn't an answer. I'm so frustrated by this department. I feel like I've been thrown to the wolves. I feel like I missed something. I feel sick. I feel tired. I feel like I can't be the only one having this problem.

I think this is why designers and builders don't get along, the reality of building something crushes the artistic processe. It makes figuring things out ten time harder because you cannot easily spilt yourself in two and talk to yourself about what is going on. Not to mention I'm still way in over my head. I'm absolutely utterly terrified I'm gonna drag my best friend down with me. Because he works in the same field as me but a different concentration. He is also proven himself to be my only confidant at this school. Thank all that is holy for him. I know I could live with out him, but goddamn it would make things so much harder.

I am working on it. I am working on following the dharma better. So that I can do this better. So that I can be better. So I can live this life I have right now to the fullest. I am trying to take refuge in this.