She sat there, thinking. What do I have to tell the world? What in my last moments do I have to share. What profound words can I exit this world with? None came to her mind. No great things to sum up her existence on earth. Long lengthy explanations of the choices she made, as one last futile attempt to give herself confidence. Love was definitely on the top of her choices. Had she loved enough in the world, should she go with the clishe, you don't know what you've got until you're gone. There had to be something more profound. She swam through the sea of her emotions. Who would she even leave this great thought with? She was alone, as we all are in death. Should she be funny, make people remember her for her humor. Or perhaps for her compassion. Tell people to love one another. Her innocence, she could warn children that they grow up too fast. So many ideas, and ten minuets left to give them to the world. Ten minuets until her last breath. Then she would be no more. Why do last words matter? Are they really the sum of all that we have been. A few sentences at most, thats all your given when it comes to last words. She could go on forever trying to come up with the right things to make sure that she was remembered the way she wanted to be. Yet her mind was going to all the places it shouldn't, how much she would miss the simple joys that she always forgot about. How she wished she could make things right with her best friend.
That was it, her best friend. How had she done him wrong. How had she done herself wrong. A life time of lessons came to mind. How not to treat somebody you love. How not to speak. She found herself regretting she didn't know more of grammar for that would have been useful with her last thought. Only five minuets left. She couldn't judge the time. But the clock told her it was five minuets. She didn't have anything to say. It hit her like a ton of bricks. She didn't have any profound or spectacular thoughts at the end. Just the normal ones. Her thoughts started going faster, there had to be away for her to come up with something special. Something that was quotable. Something amazing! She had to do it she just had to. She twisted through all the childhood scrapes and cuts, to the teenage bruises. For godsakes she was only a teenager and she had less then five minuets to live. What was she doing letting cliches take her down. She was an original, she could not die a copy. She must think of something she absolutely must! Something amazing, something special. Nothing came to mind. she was empty. inanimate death had not turned her into a wise sage. She was going to die alone, like everybody else. Her life was worthless. Her last attempt to live the life she wanted to had failed. What was she thinking trying to be different. She was the same as everything else. Her life would end like everyone else's. And with that she drew her last breath and died. She was only 19.
The biggest mistake she made was not trusting herself, her last words should have been, "I love you". Original they are not, but they have meaning. That is the most important thing of all. For our lives to have meaning.
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