So after writing that post yesterday I had a talk with my best friend. He said I was getting there. I asked what I could do, since I was kind of jealous of him getting to be around people and invited places. He said be less shy. So I started thinking, why I am shy?
Lets start with how am I shy? I have trouble putting myself out there. Talking with random people and making conversations. I can stand there and listen, invisible, but talk. I can't do.
How did this come about? I wasn't always like this. I guess the short answer is kids are mean. Really, really mean. I really don't understand how kids make friends. Because when I tried to do the whole putting myself out there thing, I was pushed out. Again, and again. I got told it was creepy to listen to people's conversations, that I shouldn't butt in. Maybe I was doing something wrong then. But I sure haven't learned the right thing to do in the past 10 years.
I'll be talking to my therapist about it. Until then...
No comments:
Post a Comment