People's Opinions

When I started this blog I meant to write about humor and day to day life. Then it became a sort of therapy. And then a way of making sure that I worked on my book. I used as a last thread to a connection I feared I'd lost forever. I've used this blog for lots of things, but not many of them actually focus on more than the personal.

I actually read the comments about something, I never read comments and for a good reason. Comments upset me, I hate to watch people devolve the way they do, fighting over something that they think is the end all and be all at that moment. Sometimes it is justified, but I feel like people have started to assume that just because someone has an opinion this person believes that thing is a fact. What ever happend to having an opinion and live and let live? I feel like we all feel like we are all missionaries that must convert the whole wide world. Yet when we close the tab, we walk away from our desks into real life do we have the fire about that topic anymore? Do we live our lives dedicated to that issue that we just had to enter the fray about? Maybe some of you do, and thats great. And don't get me wrong, I'm not against posting your opinion. I'm not against people of different ideas having discourses. I just worry, and I wonder what this world is coming to. Hopefully something good.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

This is a funny blog post to be writing, its a weird blog post to be writing. Words have been my whole life, I thrive on words, they give me life. Yet I can remember being a little and making noises trying to indicate my frustration, that I wanted help. I was alway yelled at when I final let out that guttural scream of I quit. If you needed help why didn't you ask for it? I thought I was asking for it? I thought the fact that I was visibly getting more and more agitated was proof. From then on I learned to put all of my faith in words.

Words are the only way that my parents told me they loved me, because their actions never showed it. And the older I've gotten the more their actions have shown contempt and dislike for me. And it hurts, because I can't survive. I am broken.

And yet I'm fighting, I'm always fighting. I'm bloody determined to beat this thing. But I've been fighting the wrong ways, I've been fighting to make others achieve things for me, and it just doesn't work that way. It never will work that way.

And then sometimes I turn around and I see all that I have lacked is standing there right beside me. And I want to fall down and weep because I don't know how to show that I understand. I dont know how to show. So I wrote this. Now I have to act it.