So broken it is shattered

I just started to understand something about myself, I am a lover. And when I don't have love, I freak the fuck out. I try to do all of these things to make people give me their love, because in all honesty I am quick to anger, but I'm even quicker to forgive.

And like a child I expect the world to be like me. And because my world revolves around love, my heart breaks every time that the world isn't. And so now my heart is shattered, and I'm working on putting the pieces back together so I can run wild and free.

Exhaustion

My body is betraying me. Every night I have dreams that make me feel exhausted when I wake. I'm probably just lying to myself by saying I don't have anxiety about this whole cancer thing. But what can I do? I'm trusting my body that it needs rest and relaxation. I'm listening to it. I may get in trouble because I'm listening to what my body is telling me, its telling me I need sleep, its telling me to prepare for the worst. Its telling me to try and do my best to carry on. That is all I'm doing, it is all I can do. But it exhausts me.